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Bellwether: The Safe Zone Discussion Group

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First Frank Wu Pic [Sep. 3rd, 2006|09:36 am]
Bellwether: The Safe Zone Discussion Group

bellwether_talk

[jimhines]
Frank Wu e-mailed me the following yesterday. Looking at it, I'm thinking this might make a good button.

From Frank: "Feel free to copy, disseminate, put on buttons/websites,
whatever (and tell others to do so, too) ... Or, if you think it needs changes, lemme know."

He'll be working on a few other things as well. Hopefully including the multi-armed alien, since that one seems to be so popular.



Click on the picture for a larger version

If you post this elsewhere, I'd ask that you credit Frank Wu somewhere. He deserves it.
linkReply

Comments:
[User Picture]From: trinsf
2006-09-03 09:28 pm (UTC)
Well, the only thing I'll say is that one of the problems I have myself at cons is people assuming that being there means you consent to hugs -- that is, that *EVERYONE* wants to be hugged by *anyone*. I end up saying "I'm sorry, I'm not a huggy person", or "No thank you" constantly. This button seems to reinforce that idea. I'm more about "ASK first, then hug!"
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From: (Anonymous)
2006-09-03 10:09 pm (UTC)

Ask first, then hug

Ah, good point. OK, Ask first, then Hug button comin' up shortly.

F
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[User Picture]From: trinsf
2006-09-04 12:46 am (UTC)

Re: Ask first, then hug

Woot! *grin*
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[User Picture]From: jimhines
2006-09-04 12:53 am (UTC)

Re: Ask first, then hug

You see why we all love Frank? :-)
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[User Picture]From: luna_the_cat
2006-09-05 02:43 pm (UTC)

Re: Ask first, then hug

I want one of those, too. "Ask first, THEN hug" is something I have wanted for ages...
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[User Picture]From: jimhines
2006-09-05 02:49 pm (UTC)

Re: Ask first, then hug

The awesome ktempest is looking into putting together an online button store for these. Once Frank gets me the artwork, I'll pass that along.

Once these suckers are available, I'll be posting a big old announcement here in the group.
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[User Picture]From: luna_the_cat
2006-09-05 03:17 pm (UTC)

Re: Ask first, then hug

Thanks!
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[User Picture]From: jfpbookworm
2006-09-06 01:29 am (UTC)

Re: Ask first, then hug

On the other hand, even "ask first, then hug" is a bit permissive for me - the implication being that, if you ask, of course I'm going to give permission. And while I'd like to show support, I don't want to set myself up for explaining that while I support consensual hugging in principle, I don't often go for it myself. Besides which, I'm in the demographic that needs to get its act together, not the demographic that's being mistreated.

What I would like to be able to do is be one more person at a con who's making a statement against inappropriate behavior. Any ideas for a logo that says "I support this initiative" without implying "hug me"?
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[User Picture]From: jimhines
2006-09-04 12:55 am (UTC)
Agreed. In my mind, I saw this one as something for those people who are of the more open, super-huggy strain. But you're absolutely right that not everyone wants to be hugged by just anyone. And even the huggiest of us no doubt have folks they'd prefer to keep at arm's length...
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[User Picture]From: trinsf
2006-09-04 01:00 am (UTC)
Someone else mentioned the Geek Social Fallacies, and I am reminded of the one about friendship being transitive. So often I have the experience of people assuming hug status is transitive. Person A comes up to a group including myself and friends of Person A. Person A hugs our mutual friends. Then Person A assumes hug status transitivity and insists on hugging me, because I'm with Person A's friends. This happens over and over at cons, so often that I've gotten used to adapting my position and body language to read No as well as err, bracing for impact.

I think the thing I say most at cons during the day time is, "Gosh, I'm sorry, I'm not a huggy person."
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From: (Anonymous)
2006-09-04 03:55 am (UTC)

"I'm not a huggy person"

I like that phrase ("I'm not a huggy person") so I'm wondering if that might be better than "Ask first, then hug", but maybe there should be an accompanying phraseology to soften it, like:

"I like you, but I'm...
just not a huggy person"
(with a picture of a cute but spikey alien.) (that might be a lot of words to put on a button along with a picture).

How about:

"I'm friendly,
just not huggy."

Thoughts?

Also, everyone, thanks for the kind words. I really hope these images help to teach some social skills to those needing them at cons.

FW

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[User Picture]From: alleahna
2006-09-04 04:18 am (UTC)

Re: "I'm not a huggy person"

I like 'I'm Friendly, just not huggy.' That's an good alternative to 'I'm not a huggy person'.

I like the first button, though. Well done!
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[User Picture]From: pir_anha
2006-09-04 07:01 am (UTC)

Re: "I'm not a huggy person"

seconded. both sentiments. :)
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